Shhh….it’s a secret (#2)

So John and I decided that after our Vegas trip a couple weekends ago with our BFF’s, Chris and Emily, that we would stop preventing and somewhat try for another baby.  The plan was to just stop preventing and chart to see what my cycles were up to and if we weren’t successful by January then I would go see Dr. B again and ask about Clomid if ovulation seemed to be the problem.  I began charting again and using OPKs once my period returned just before Kellen turned 1 year old.  My cycles were wonky–I’ve only had 3.  But the first 2 had an LP of only 9 days which is not good.  And the last 2 cycles, I ovulated on CD22 and CD23.  With the mix of both of those, I felt like we have zero chance of conceiving without help.  I actually ovulated the Friday we were in Vegas 🙂  I thought that was awesome but of course didn’t believe it would actually work the first time we tried.

I looked for my rash at 7dpo that I got the last 2 pregnancies, but it never showed.  Then at 9dpo I got major AF cramps along with nausea and a temp dip.  I was convinced I would get AF and end up with only an 8 day LP.  Then she didn’t show–cramps kept coming and this morning at 11dpo, I went to the bathroom with a tampon and a dixie cup.  I was going to pee in the cup, and then wipe expecting blood.  But I wanted the pee just in case 🙂  I dipped a cheapy HPT test and in less than a minute, a second line appeared!  I kept blinking hard and moving the stick under different light thinking I was seeing things.  Then I grabbed another test to make sure it wasn’t defective and another second line!  They are so much darker than my 11dpo tests with Kellen.  Eeek!  I’m pregnant!  EDD is July 5, 2013 🙂  But I feel a lot different than with Kellen.  My AF like cramps are much more intense and I’ve been quite nauseous.

I called Dr. B’s office and got my HCG and Progesterone levels drawn today and should have the results Thursday morning.  And then go back Thursday afternoon to check for doubling.  I am mostly in shock.  I never expected it to come this easy.  A huge part of me feels really really guilty that it came so easy, even though I know that is completely ridiculous.  I guess I just feel guilty since I have so many friends from The Bump and in real life still that still don’t have their first take home baby.  But I can’t let that take away from the joy that we hopefully will have another little one in about 9 months.  The whole thing is just crazy.  When John and I started talking about trying again, the whole idea of having 2 children was just absurd.  The majority of the time I have to remind myself that my life is real as it is.  That I have an amazing husband, am able to stay home, and have my beautiful, healthy and perfect Kellen.  I can’t explain my love for that girl–not even close.  I can’t believe most of the time that she is my daughter and I am her mother.  I can’t imagine loving another being as much as I love her.  I know I will love this baby just as much as Kellen, but I can’t imagine it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love this baby already, but once you hold your baby in your arms, it is completely different than carrying the baby in your womb, at least in my experience.

I’m keeping the posts about this baby private until probably after the NT scan.  I contemplated starting a new blog for this baby because my master plan is to print this all out one day for Kellen, but I think I will just keep one personal blog.  It would be too hard to write posts separating our family, so I will keep it all as one.  Maybe I’ll print more than one copy and give all our kids the whole story.  Or maybe I’ll separate them out….we will see 🙂

I’ve only told Emily, Lindsey and my Bump friends.  I think I will tell Larissa soon as well, but that is probably it until we see a heartbeat on an ultrasound (which should be around 6w).  I’m not telling my dad or my other sisters until then (or later) because they have big mouths 🙂  And then the world probably around 12w–which would be right around Christmas 🙂

And here is my BPF chart 🙂 (click to make bigger)


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