I swear I’m not vain.

But I am not excited about the pound I have gained.  Yes, I just wrote yesterday that it was only 1/2 a pound so I wasn’t counting it yet, but I weighed myself again this morning, and it is officially a pound.  I know you are supposed to gain weight when pregnant.  And I know that I did great in the 1st Trimester with not gaining any weight.  But I’ve struggled my whole life with my weight and seeing that scale go up is horrifying.  I hate it. I hate seeing the bigger number and then being afraid to look in the mirror and feel…well, ugly.

And even more, I hate that I feel this way.  Why can’t I be happy with my body?  Why can’t I be excited about the one time in my life where it will be a good thing to gain weight.  I’m going to put some info in this post that I found on WebMD and I am going to reference back to it every now and then when I’m feeling super crappy about a pound or two…hopefully I can learn how to deal with this without crying like I am now.

Weight distribution:

  • 7 1/2 pounds is about how much the baby will weigh by the end of pregnancy.
  • 1 1/2 pounds is how much the placenta weighs.
  • 4 pounds is attributed to increased fluid volume.
  • 2 pounds is the weight of the uterus.
  • 2 pounds is the weight of breast tissue.
  • 4 pounds is because of increased blood volume.
  • 7 pounds is attributed to maternal stores of fat, protein and other nutrients.
  • 2 pounds for the amniotic fluid.
  • Total: 30 pounds

On a trimester basis:

  • First trimester: 3-5 pounds
  • Second trimester: 1-2 pounds per week
  • Third trimester: 1-2 pounds per week

Um, sorry, but I already have a problem with that.  If I gain 1-2 pounds per week for the remainder of my pregnancy, that is close to 30+ pounds!  My goal is 15 because I was overweight before getting pregnant, I don’t need to gain that much.  Ugh….I really don’t want to stress about this, but I am just so accustomed to stressing about weight, that there is probably no way around it.  I think maybe I will feel better when I start looking pregnant, and not just fatter.

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